Last week my lovely Nanny passed away.
Wednesday 23rd November at 5.45am local time in the UK.
I had facetimed my mum the day before and spoken to my nanny on speaker but she was already at this point completely unresponsive. My mum, Uncle Mark, Auntie Joanne and Cousin Sarah were all there and had been for many hours. Her eyes were closed and it appeared that she was sleeping but the doctors and nurses said that she still may be able to hear people talking. I spoke to Nanny and then at the end, I said, ‘goodbye Nanny, I love you!’ and she raised her hand and tried to wave. This was the most they had seen her do in 2 days. I felt very lucky but also, deep down, I knew that it was Nanny telling me goodbye. I knew that she was going to join Grampy at some point that night.
She had fallen over in August and broken her hip. She had a hip replacement but this really knocked her back. She has been through so much and overcome so many illnesses and obstacles but this one was just too much for her. Very quickly she became more and more unwell, but in all honesty, I never thought that I wouldn't see her again when I came to the USA.
The inevitable happened and I woke up during the night with many missed calls on my mobile from my mum and other family members and I knew that it had happened. I phoned mum back and spoke to her for a while before trying to get back to sleep at 2am.
I decided not to travel back for the funeral. It doesn’t feel real to me at the moment, as I am not experiencing and witnessing it first-hand. If I was to go back home for the funeral, it would become very real and I would struggle leaving everyone being sad back home, and coming back to the USA. When I visit home at some point during my time here, I want it to be a happy time to share with friends and family and I know that this particular trip home would not be happy or enjoyable.
Nanny’s funeral was today and it was at 1pm my time and 6pm UK time. At lunchtime, myself, Gwen and Avery had a tea party in honour of Nanny’s life and to pay our respects to her. Gwen organized it and bought tea, biscuits, little cakes and made finger sandwiches. It was so lovely of her – the whole thing was her idea and it was really touching and meant a lot to me that she cared so much. We all drank tea (Avery drank ‘tea’ – juice – from her plastic pretend teapot and teacup from her kitchen set) and ate food and we said ‘cheers’ to Nanny and her wonderful life.
Below is a poem I wrote and Melissa read it out at Nanny's funeral as I wasn't going to be there.
My Nanny was loving, gentle, sweet and kind,
She was the strongest woman that you ever could find.
She was fearless and brave, she would never concede,
But now Nanny, it’s over, and you have been freed.
She always would laugh when we called her cute,
Everyone loved her - that was absolute.
She lived for us, her family, her friend,
Her memory will live on. It will never end.
Nanny was always so relaxed and calm,
She would never do anyone, or anything, any harm.
She would enjoy a puzzle or playing a card game,
Win or lose, she liked it all the same.
Nanny liked watching Murder Mysteries on TV,
Pirot, Miss Marple, Inspector Lewis and Barnaby.
Nanny loved donkeys, biscuits, tea and cake,
Now Nanny has gone and our hearts, they will ache.
Whilst growing up she loved to give us treats,
Yum yums, chocolate bars, biscuits and sweets.
She was the best nanny that we ever could wish for,
Spending time at Earl Close, it was never a bore.
Nanny would have a cup of tea and a custard cream,
This is where we would make the perfect team.
I would open the biscuit and eat the inside,
Then she’d eat the rest, dipping it in her tea with pride.
Nanny loved to share stories about her life,
Her friends, her old jobs and when she became a wife.
Nanny loved Grampy with all her heart,
And now they’ve been reunited, never again to be apart.
Nanny is now free and she is out of pain,
Now there will always be sun and there will never be rain.
The flowers will bloom and Nanny, you can walk,
And I’m sure you and Grampy will talk and talk and talk.
Now you’re gone and we will try not to cry,
We miss you so much, but this is not goodbye.
Sleep tight, dearest Nanny, our angel in the sky,
Be free, be happy, and fly Nanny, fly high.
Rest In Peace Nanny.
I love you.
